Ok, we are all human & just sometimes life seems to get on top of us, we get stressed, overburdened, relationships blip or crash, communication breaks down, we process heavily after courses, one2one sessions, we are not in a 'good space' or ill health happens because we didn't listen to our bodies!...those little steps each day seem like mountains to climb....we become unbalanced, our egos run riot, we block our own path, so life just doesn't seem to flow... our essence is lost.
Hands up if thats you?
Friends are the family you have chosen for yourself, to help you journey on this path, they are supportive, nurturing, honouring & show your stuff without judgement, they see the true you & you feel really blessed these caring angels surround me, even when you don't realise you need them, they are there.
The following are some of the tried & tested ways to help you not sweat the big or small stuff that life throws at you :-) this is not about getting everything right 100 % of the time either, so you can stop the guilt trip on that one!...more about giving you 'tools for your tool box' so you the ability to help yourself & make more of the life that you want.
1. Check out your underwear drawer! Throw out anything that's chewing gum grey, old, worn out, holey, you hate, unwanted gift...literally love the knickers/underpants you are in, the world feels a sunnier place already! Knowing your smalls are in order, actually DOES help you feel in control of your life. No I'm not mad, give it a go!
2. Have a good sort through of all your products in your cupboard. It all money sitting on your shelves! Is there anything that you haven't used, can't use, can you trade with a friend, give it away, actually use it?..strange idea I know! Really look at what was a impulse purchase to make you feel better..did the product actually work? Or better still why did you buy it in the first place?!
3. Without taking any money with you, go & try on lots of different clothes in a shop, even better, go into a shop you have never been to see if its for you, gently stepping outside your comfort zone...what styles suit you, what colours look good, try a new perfume, aftershave. If you really really like anything, you can always ask the shop to hold for you. We often see ourselves in a particular way & stay that way for a long time! Take an honest friend with you, or find a honest assistant in the shop..it an interesting experience & a real eye opener.
4. If you come out of a relationship or don't feel secure in your current relationship, chances are your self esteem has bottom out. Someone makes you feel insecure...its actually your stuff, not the relationship.
Healthy relationships are about two people who want to equally be together, respect, honour & love each other, these are know are inter-independent relationships (more on that another time!) Unhealthy relationships are those ones that don't 'feed' you with emotional or physical support...many people stay in 'dead' relationship for fear of 'any relationship is better than no relationship'...news alert, being in a damaging relationship is exactly that damaging to your health, & your body will eventually tell you so through ill health. So if yours has ended, of course you are going to be upset...its also a positive move into bringing someone better into your life, when YOU ARE READY :-)
Give yourself time, treat yourself with love & nurturing, build up a supportive network of friends, do go out, join a club, start a new hobby...focus your attention on building a relationship with the new you & maybe set yourself some new boundaries. Relationship are meant to enhance you not be all of you!
This goes for men & for women, you can't give to another if you don't give to yourself. Its called self love & it feels wonderful when the inner you comes out to play!
5. Family, friends & frienemies...its the 2 minutes, 2 hours or 2 days rule. Out of all the people you know & come into contact with or spend your time with, ask yourself do I want to spend 2 minutes, 2 hours or 2 days with them.
Those that fall into the 2 minutes or 2 hours rule, are likely to drain your energy, not really understand you & probably not likely to supportive of you (this can also be family members!)...so try something radical...maximum time you should spend with them is 2 hours. Know your limits & only plan coffee or short visits, so you know you can get the 'hell out of there' after 2 hours.
Those that fall into the 2 days, get seeing them more often & your 'frienemies' will naturally drop out of your life.
6. Ask at least 10 '2 days' friends to describe you in one positive word...write all the words either on the visualisation board or a personal favourite, write them on post-it notes & stick around your bathroom mirror, so every time you look in the mirror, you are reconfirming you are loved. Guaranteed friends see you differently to how you see yourself!
7. Another personal favourite..get your calender & make a date with yourself each week if you can or definitely once a month. Whether its a massage, lunch with friends, walking along the beach, quality time with a loved one, walk in the country, afternoon tea at the Grand, simply reading a book, retail therapy without your purse!..what does it for you? The sky is NOT the limit!
8. Still using the calendar, list a few things that you want to achieve each month, kinda like business planning for your life!...January could be plan a short break for April..by 'chunking' bite sizes of your life, you get to have all these lovely things in your life, without trying too hard & life flows!
9. Do you buy beautiful flowers for other people? How about yourself? When the florists ask if they're gift, say yes! Note what colour you are draw to, because there will be a reason!
10. Wander around your house & really look at what you have..do you LOVE IT or HATE IT?..This works with children too!! do they love their toys, things in their rooms? or has it lost its energy for you? Trade it, give it away. If it was a gift, the person gave it to you, so you are free to do what YOU want with it, even if it giving it to a charity shop! If they ask where it is or get upset, then they didn't or haven't truly given it!!
11. Do the snuggle test..the inner child in you will love this! Try feeling all different fabrics & materials, what works for you...can you feel the difference between 50%cotton/50%poly cotton & 400count Egyptian cotton? Absolutely! What feels better for you? Chenille, faux fur, silk, 600count cotton?..having your favourite bedding to snuggle into is in one word heaven.
12. Ever put something off because you simply hate doing it, don't have time to do it?! Take 15! Take 15 minutes & just do it, time yourself for 15 minutes. If you want to carry on after the 15 minutes is up, that's ok. Be it writing that letter, thank you card, returning a friends phone call straight away! paperwork! decluttering an underwear drawer, reading a book because you NEVER have time! The huge amount of satisfaction you feel after doing something you have been putting off is highly addictive! Don't leave it for tomorrow, do it today..do it NOW! Make it a new habit.
13. Runners & Angels of Joy are just fab!!Runners are connected to the earth & physical area that you are in, so say you are running late & need to get somewhere on time & safely, simply by asking the runners to 'run ahead' & clear your way, find a parking space, seat in a crowded cafe, they will! Manners cost nothing & by being grateful for their assistance, all angels will only want to help you more. Runners work with action not words, they physically nudge you.Joy Angels are just that, bringing joy, think childlike joy & wonder at the world...they have a light joyous vibration that stop us from taking life to seriously...ask them each day to enter into your life, bringing you wonderful surprises & that everything seems easier with humour!
14. Attitude of Gratitude..energy flows where attention goes, so the more you can be grateful for what you do have in your life, the more you will receive!Each night, I am grateful for...& name 5 things, next night it can't be the same things as the night before! & keep going!! Get creative!!
15. Vision boards are another great tool & writing a letter, like cosmic ordering.Take 15 mins & find magazine pictures or draw pictures of what it is in your life & make a collage of them..THIS IS YOUR LIFE AS YOU WANT IT!
Pin the vision board up somewhere where you can SEE it everyday & can vizualise yourself living that life NOW.
16. Letter writing, again give yourself 15 mins & focus on what you want in your life. Write a letter to yourself. Next time you will be reading this letter will be in a year's time, so write it as IF THE EVENTS HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED! Give the letter to someone who will pass it back to you in a year, writing the date on the front of the enevelop helps! or keep your letter in a safe place. You will be amazed at what does become your reality...remember your brain knows no difference between yesterday, today & tomorrow, so think it, become it, be it!
17. The 8 8 8 rule..8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of personal time/exercise/social/make your heart sing time! 8 hours of work....this one does take constant attention!
18. Sleeping! Getting quality sleep is a MUST! Try to go to bed by 10pm 3 nights a week as your liver naturally starts detoxing at 11pm, you will wake up feeling lighter & brighter if you can!
Feel inspired...go for it!
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